Humor Abounds

That husband of mine was always so full of life and so funny. He enjoyed everything about living and could take the most mundane things to find joy in. I was thinking today about the times he would just crack us up....

This is my 'Willie Nelson' kind of husband.... picking and singing. He couldn't play a gituar but he loved to 'play like he could'

Boys will be boys.... riding on one of the grandsons scooters. He was a little kid again, having a ball.

We are in the Elizabethan Gardens in Manteo, N. C. and I am trying to take a

SERIOUS picture of Elbert sitting on a limb of one of the trees. Just as I snapped... he stuck his tongue out at me. You had to laugh at silly antics like this.

Elbert really was trying hard to get that rowing machine going... it wasn't funny to him but we thought it was. 'Row, row, row your boat, Honey...'

We had this picture made at a Beachmaster's Reunion. Love those muscles my sailor has!! And, my long, flowing gold tresses. We were always up for the unique and crazy.

Elbert was already sick with Alzheimers yet he had not forgotten how to stick that tongue out at me.

Another crazy picture. This one was taken at Opryland in Tennesse with Elbert, me, daughter Marie and granddaughter Yvonne.

I can look back now at all  these good times and relive the fun and enjoyment of just being together.
Miss you Honey.

A New Year

                                                                           2012

It's a new year, a new day, a new life, a new..... hmmmm, let's see, what else is new.
                                                            
Two 1/2 weeks ago Elbert and I would have celebrated our 61st anniversary.

One week ago I got through the first Christmas without him.

Today I prayed for guidance, 'Please, Lord, just show me the path I must follow'. And, He answers prayers... already... That's fast, Lord? Was I that desperate that You put me on Speed Answer!!

I'll sit down sometime this afternoon and start a new 'yearly' journal. My life is pretty well documented on those pages in cheap black and white composition books. You'd think I'd write my 'doings' in a fancy journal but my life is what it is, fancy paper or no.

Tomorrow I will start a new schedule, a new outlook, a new way of thinking and try to keep myself busy for the next few days. You see, it will be a year ago on Jan. 3rd that I lost my sweetheart. Lord, just get me through this week and then I think I can make it through the rest of my life.

On Friday the 6th I will celebrate my 78th birthday. Life goes on. I am ready, Lord. Just keep showing me the way.

I'll Have A Blue Christmas

I can hear that baritone voice of Elbert's singing 'I'll have a blue, blue Chistmas without you'. His voice was not extra-ordinary in any way and some songs he just couldn't carry a tune to but this was one song that he sang that I thought sounded as good as any recording I ever heard. That, and 'I'll be home for Christmas, just you wait and see'....

If those songs come on the radio or my cd player I quickly switch to something else. It just breaks my heart to hear them. No, he will not be home for Christmas this year and yes, I will have a blue, blue Christmas.

There will be plenty of mistletoe and laughter and food and family but the one person that held it all together is missing. Christmas will never be the same again. However, the family is here, the little ones with their eyes all aglow, 'cause Santa Claus comes tonight. There will be tons of food, which I don't need, but I will eat anyway. Hey, I have an excuse, Christmas comes but once a year. Dieting can start the day after!! There will be gifts to open and oooh and aaaah over.

This first Christmas without Elbert will be filled with so much sadness. Memories of the past, happy ones, but it is time to make new memories with the newest generation that he and I were responsible for starting.

Thanksgiving

Well, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I will gather with some of the family to eat too much, play with the little ones, chat with the adults and wish I had my sweetie with me. I can see him now, standing at the head of the table carving the turkey, then he'd say grace and we'd eat until we couldn't move. That man did love to eat.

Some of the things for which I am thankful for this year

60 years of marriage to a wonderful man

A loving family

God's loving care always

Good health

Friends

Shelter, food and all I need to live each day

Sweet memories

So many blessings that appeared through the fog of grief and sadness.

I hope that each of you have a very blessed Thanksgiving.

Waiting on myself

I used to have a difficult time being on the puny list when I was taking care of Elbert. Not too long after he was diagnosed with Alzheimers, I found out I had colon cancer. He could still be left alone at that time and I had lots of people in and out seeing about the both of us so that worked out pretty well. That was 10 years ago.

Elbert helping me up the front steps after my cancer surgery

Then, a couple of years later I had one total knee replacement. He was some worse by that time and although the doctor suggested I go to a rehab place to get my therapy out of the way, I knew I had better go home as soon as I was released from the hospital. I could tell my absence disturbed him. Even when I got home he couldn't figure it all out. But, he was able to help me with my exercises.

I'm listening to music in my own bed after knee surgery. And, get a sweet kiss.

One year later I had the second knee done. A little tougher for the both of us. I needed him to be helpful and he could not comprehend what I was saying. So, we struggled through that. Again the family helped tremendously.

The therapist has me walking down the sidewalk in front of my house.

I am so thankful that those serious surgeries are behind me. And, I think I am pretty healthy for an ancient old woman. However, just recently I have been having some Fall allergy issues (infected sinuses, sore throat etc) and I was thinking that I am dealing with getting better pretty well. No extra stress that caregiving always put on me... I just lay in bed and didn't care if I got up or not. I watched way too much football on Saturday, all stretched out on the couch. But, that was okay. I rested, took my medicine and this morning I felt well enough to join Shirley at Hardees for our Monday biscuit. I bet by tomorrow I will be raring to go.... somewhere, anywhere, nowhere. Just raring!!

Dreams

It's amazing (or perhaps not knowing how connected we always were) how often I dream something about Elbert. My latest was so 'Elbert'. That man loved attention, whether he was getting it or giving it.

I dreamed that we had gone to an outdoor concert and was sitting way up from the band in a sort of train car box with lots of other people in the seats around us. The band director announced 'There are people here from Alabama' and I dreamed that Elbert stood up, waving his hand and yelled, 'We are right here'. Oh, so Elbert.

How comforting it is to still have him with me in my dreams.