Things to be Thankful for

I wondered how I would do on Thanksgiving without Elbert. I did very well, missed him, of course, but I did better than I thought I would.

Grandson Ken and his wife Bethany hosted the Thanksgiving get-together this year and I believe that made all the difference in the world. Some new people, some new additions to the menu, the event held in a new location surrounded by family and little ones. Someone besides Elbert carved the turkey and grace was done by Bethany's Dad. Just a sign that things move on, people move on and it's alright. As night approached and we headed home, I felt very blessed indeed ..........

Once home I curled up in my bed and turned on the LSU-Arkansas game. I sure wanted LSU to lose ... darn it. You see, my team (Alabama) is #2 while LSU is #1. I just wanted LSU to get knocked down a number or two. But, it didn't happen.

Thanksgiving

Well, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I will gather with some of the family to eat too much, play with the little ones, chat with the adults and wish I had my sweetie with me. I can see him now, standing at the head of the table carving the turkey, then he'd say grace and we'd eat until we couldn't move. That man did love to eat.

Some of the things for which I am thankful for this year

60 years of marriage to a wonderful man

A loving family

God's loving care always

Good health

Friends

Shelter, food and all I need to live each day

Sweet memories

So many blessings that appeared through the fog of grief and sadness.

I hope that each of you have a very blessed Thanksgiving.

Wintertime and being alone

I dread Wintertime. I dread Thanksgiving. I dread Christmas. I just dread being alone when it's cold and miserable outside and people don't come by and I can't get out. Bad time to be alone, that's for sure.

So, much of the time, when Elbert was with me, we'd sit in the sunroom and watch the birds. Yes, I have the feeders out already but it won't be the same... noone to say, 'hey, look at that little bird. He's really hungry this morning' .

We'd sit and watch the snow falling. We didn't have much snow in Alabama so we enjoyed the snowfalls in Virginia. It always seemed so magical, coming down in big flakes. I suppose the magic will be gone out of it this year.

In early December Elbert and I would bundle up and walk up the street to see our son-in-law's latest creation of Christmas lights on their house. This year I will make excuses... it's too cold, I am busy, can't go right now.

We always would get a call on Christmas morning ... 'come over, the kids are up and ready for Santa' and Elbert and I (already up and waiting) would walk over and we'd sit around the tree and open presents. Then, it got too much for Elbert, tire him out and he really didn't know what the hullabaloo was all about. He didn't even know that the presents were for him and that he was supposed to open them.

Yes, I dread all these first events... I have to focus on the here and now.

I can enjoy the birds and I might even start making note of all the different kinds I see

If we get snowfall I hope it is enough so that I can make 'snow cream'. I'd like that.

I might put my coat on and wander down the street. I will need to take a picture of all the lights. How else will I share them with all my wonderful blogging friends?

Christmas morning I will be waiting for that phone call. And, I will walk over and find my place beside the tree. I'll play with baby Dylan (he'll be 11 months by then) and I'll try to keep him from snatching ornaments off the tree.

I'll miss my guy that was always beside me, laughing and enjoying the family and all his presents.

Yep, I will make it, day by day, with a lot of help from God, family and friends. And, there will be memories made for me to cherish in years to come. In years to come, it will be easier, I think. Just not this year.

Veterans Day

I wanted to share with you a bit of our Veterans Day. Shirley and I went on Saturday and found the graves with flags waving in the breeze. It was such an awesome sight and such a peaceful scene. Here are a few pictures of our visit with Elbert and all the others buried at A.G. Horton Veterans Cemetery.

Daughter Shirley drew a heart in the sand with WB on it.

Hmmmm.... Puzzling Question

I was having lunch with girlfriends the other day when one (a widow of about 2 years) started talking about certain widows in our town who have taken off their wedding rings. It seemed to disturb her a lot and she explained that she considered herself and her husband still married and always would.

She just kept talking about it and then asked to see my left hand!! I pulled it up from my lap (we were eating lunch, you know, and being the etiquette queen that I am.. hehe.., I did have my hand in my lap). She glanced at it and saw that there was a ring there and said, 'Oh, you still have yours on'.

I so could have said 'yes' since she didn't notice and assumed it was my wedding ring. (It was costume jewelry)  It could have slipped by so easily but I HAD to explain. What is it with Southern Gals who think they have to explain every little detail about every little thing? So, I am telling her that I have arthritus in my knuckles and can't wear my wedding rings anymore. Did she not notice this before Elbert passed away or is it more relavant now than it was then?

So, you know me, I got that on my mind and I just wondered what the protocol is on wearing rings. If they still fit, I mean. Elbert is still, and will always be, the other half of me. However, our physical partnership is gone. Does that mean we are still married? The vows say 'until death do us part'. In a huge sense I feel married and yet in another I don't. Is that strange? or a bad thing? The partner that I made a lifelong contract with on our wedding day is not here to hold me, help me make decisions, share in my joys and pain. I feel disconnected from that partnership because of that.

This is a new struggle I am having in this 'grieving process'. If I am to move on, I need to know in my heart what I am to carry with me to this new place in my life. Oh geez, life sure is tough. I guess I will take each day as it comes and one of these days it will become clear to me. If not, I'll be okay.

Missing my Fun Partner

                                           Halloween


                     I'm missing my trick or treat partner who was always fun to be with..............

                              He loved handing out candy to all the little ones in their costumes.

Train Wreck or Not?

I ran across this quote from Corrie Ten Boom and knew that I wanted to share it with all of you. It says,

'When a train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off. You sit still and trust the engineer.'

Wow, that's pretty powerful. Regardless of what we face in life, regardless of what age we are, regardless, regardless we don't jump off the train!! Nothing is more true than when we are caring for a loved one with Alzheimers. That train runs along the track going places on pretty days with the sun shining brightly and the beautiful landscape developing before our eyes. and Boom... oh, gee, no pun intended there... the track runs through a mountain and it gets dark enough in there you can't see your hand in front of your face.

You can't jump off. Your loved one needs you and you don't abandon love. So, you sit tight and trust in the engineer of our lives (God) and before you know it, the train pops out the hole at the end of the tunnel and the sun is shining once more. You just gotta learn to not be afraid of the dark!!