No, this is not a scary movie. It is part of learning to live alone. I feel very safe where I am so I am not afraid, however, I dread the sounds that I hear, not with my ears, but the sounds that I remember. The footfall of someone not there, a voice calling out, stumbles from room to room. I listen and there is no sound. It is just me being so trained to listen out, to watch and wait, to protect and care, that I can't seem to turn loose of that part of my life.
Some nights are good and I sleep the sleep of the weary. Some nights my body is tense and watchful, thinking I am still on duty and I do not sleep. When I realize that my 'job' is over, the tears come.
3 comments:
Oh Latane this is such a poignant post....and so very real.
There are so many times that I feel so tired and weary dealing with all of David's needs, moods....etc, but ...when I think of the loneliness and him not being here....I start to cry.
Thank you for being so transparent....you have no idea how you help my journey down this road.
Please stay safe from the storm this weekend.
You're in my prayers.
Bless you. Thank you for your blog. I hope your day is full of sunlight and peace and somehow, joy, too.
such a touching moment you have shared with us.
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