The sun goes down taking with it the light. The shadows grow long and unidentifible. I pull on my jammies and crawl into bed and the night sounds begin.
No, this is not a scary movie. It is part of learning to live alone. I feel very safe where I am so I am not afraid, however, I dread the sounds that I hear, not with my ears, but the sounds that I remember. The footfall of someone not there, a voice calling out, stumbles from room to room. I listen and there is no sound. It is just me being so trained to listen out, to watch and wait, to protect and care, that I can't seem to turn loose of that part of my life.
Some nights are good and I sleep the sleep of the weary. Some nights my body is tense and watchful, thinking I am still on duty and I do not sleep. When I realize that my 'job' is over, the tears come.