Monday, August 15, 2011

Take Your Time

There is a time to grieve.... there is a time to be happy....

It's the TIME to grieve that concerns me at this point. I've often heard that a person in grief should not make any major decisions for at least one year. That may seem hard to do but it is so very necessary. I'd add making any decisions at all for one year!!

The effect of the decisions I make now twist and turn and are never clear from one day to the other. What I think is right for me one day, is totally wrong the next day. I am struggling with finding a clear path to walk these days. The road seems endless and stretches far to the horizon and then fades into oblivion. And, although i can not see the road as it dips out of sight I know that when i reach that point, at the edge of tomorrow, there will be more road going on endlessly...

It certainly isn't a time to make a move, sell your home and buy a new place, even to plan a trip. It also is not time, I am finding, to change my hairdo, change my schedule, change where I buy groceries even. I need that security of the 'known', of what I am comfortable with, for things I don't have to think through. My 'thinking cap' is on the life I have lived with my spouse, on happy times and yes, the bad times, of when raising a family was the biggest challenge that we had.

It has been 7 months since Elbert left us. It seems like it is 7 years. I know that 'in time' I will move on and live again. But, that time is on the horizon.


NewKidontheBlogg said...

Can you join a widow support group? I did that when became a widow and it was most helpful.

I find that people don't know what to say to those who are caregivers and those who are grieving. But others in the same situation know and can nod their heads and forge the journey with you and together you don't feel so alone.


Dolores said...

Trying to find a 'new normal' in your life must be so difficult!!!

You lived with the love of your life for so many years......I can only imagine how hard this is for you, and I would think it's going to take a lot of time, tears and laughter.

In my humble opinion..... if you ever doubt a decision about change...don't do it; wait until you feel certain of your decision.

You've been my example of loving and caring ...and that continues.

Marie (once The Tile Lady) said...

You are in my prayers, Mom. I know that the healing will come, but it will never be entirely over.