Saturday, June 6, 2009

A Room, a Date

Yesterday Shirley got a call from Magnolia Manor that a room would be ready for Elbert on June 22nd. Wow, it's done. How do I feel? A bunch of emotions swirling around. Relief that a decision has been made for Elbert's best interest, good care ahead for him, sadness that our life in the same household will come to an end.

But, I am telling myself that the 'ship' he is on is going on deployment on June 22nd. You see, for 20 years of our married life it was a Navy life and I was very used to him being at sea for long periods of time. So, this is just a deployment. When he was on a real ship I couldn't go see him but with him on this 'ship' I can see him every day. I know, it's weird talking like that, thinking strange things but whatever it takes to get me through, hey, I'm all for it.

The next two weeks will be filled with a lot of work, going through things, getting clothes washed and ironed. Yes, I still iron!! I know we will take some personal items for him, like that picture of me and him taken just after we were married. He used to look at it and say, 'that's a good looking couple'. As he got worse, he'd often say it several times a day. Now, he is asking me who is that in the picture with him. 'Some good looking young lady you picked up somewhere' I say.This is the next transition that we have to make. I am at peace about it. I've done about all I can do and I just trust the Lord to look after the both of us.

7 comments:

Jenn Jilks said...

You are brilliant, Latane. A 'deployment'!

If I may point you to a post of mine: Moving Dad, as well as:
Visiting a Patient in LTC,for your friends!

I am very proud of you. No everyone can make such a good decision.

W. Latane Barton said...

Jenn,
I read your 'moving Dad' and found it most helpful. I am trying to sort through my mind as to what to take for him. Not much will be required in the way of decoration as he doesn't recognize the things here in the house. All except that picture I was telling about. Perhaps we can talk Sunday morning... I went to church last Sunday and missed your skype.

Dolores said...

Oh Latane,...I can't imagine the feelings you are experiencing right now.

Magnolia Manor sounds like such a wonderful home for Elbert, and you're doing the RIGHT THING......, but ......as I try and put myself in your shoes........my heart cries for you!!!! You are my hero.......

Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers!!!
Dolores

Susannah said...

Lantane...the next few weeks will be hard..Lots and lots of ups and downs..but you are doing the RIGHT thing. And you can still be with him every single day..if you want to. YOU can get some rest, not worry so much and return to your old self again. I'm praying for you and Elbert and your family.

Friends,
Susannah

Susannah said...

P.S. What wonderful and beautiful picture!!!!!!!!

Peggy said...

Hi Latane, so the date is set at last, it will not be easy but what a good idea to link it to a deployment which was a separation for you at the time .It will help your mind to deal with a traumatic time, I will be thinking and praying for you both.God Bless

serendopeity said...

Latane
You are my hero sweetie. To make a decision like this must have been one of the most difficult things to do. I will be thinking of you both on the 22nd.

As for the watch dilemma - will he know if it is a different watch? If not, then perhaps you can pick up an inexpensive one and let him take that. Mom was losing her good one almost daily. We would find it eventually but looking for it became an exercise in futility some days so I picked up 2 at WalMart and she wears one of them each day. If she loses one we have one in reserve until we find the other one. Same with her glasses - I have 3 old pair in a drawer and ineviably we have to use at least one a week until we can find the pair she lost.

My heart is with you...
Love Nancy