Friday, June 5, 2009

A Visit to Magnolia Manor

Martha, the director of Magnolia Manor, says she always likes to meet new prospective residents so Tuesday Shirley and I took Elbert over to meet Martha. It went well. Elbert was steady and walked more than he has walked in some time so we were pleased about that.

Martha asked Elbert several questions during our conversation and noticed that 'yes, he knows some things and no, he doesn't remember most things'. We then walked down to the memory unit and met some of the other people living there. The rooms are really nice, there is a big closet, a mahogany poster bed and people can bring in favorite furniture or decorations if they like. It was a far cry from the other places we had investigated.

After the little tour we all met in Martha's office along with the memory unit head of nurses. Again observations were being made as we talked. I know that this is a traumatic move for all of us to have to face. Having Elbert in one place and me in another seems so strange but I do know that his best interest is at stake here, as is mine.

Elbert did not grasp where we were or why we were there. He told Martha that she had a nice place (and that was after she asked him what he thought). But, generally he was very quiet and said nothing.

We went to lunch at Smithfield Bakery afterward. They have amazing food. We were joined by Shirley's best friend, Kate, so we had a nice time. By the time we had finished eating I could tell Elbert had about gotten to the end of his rope so we headed home. He slept the rest of the afternoon.

Martha gave no indication of when or if Elbert would have a room. So, we wait and wonder but I have a good feeling that things went well and one day soon I will get a call that there is a room. How will I react? No one knows, certainly not me. But, I do know that I cried after bedtime Tuesday night just remembering what we had seen and what lay ahead for us.


Dolores said...

Oh Latane, Magnolia Manor (I love the name) sounds like a very nice home.

Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you as you wait for a room for Elbert, and then for the move itself, and the adjustment for each of you.
I can only imagine how stressful and sad this is for you.
Hugs to you!

Kim said...

Small steps toward good solutions for both you and Elbert. I hope this time of exploring and waiting actually helps you make the transition ahead. I know you are terribly sad, I hear it in your words and I am sorry for the depth of the despair this life challenge has brought. I guess they refer to Alzheimer's disease as the "long goodbye" for good reason.

I have to say this, Latane. Your story has only added even more love and joy to having my dear husband with me, healthy in mind and body. By sharing your story about you and Elbert, you have reminded me to take nothing for granted as I live each day of my life with Tom.

Peggy said...

Hi Latane, I have been catching up on a couple of posts I missed, I can see so much has happened to you, some serious life changes. You have come to making the big decision and I pray it will ease an awful lot of the stress you have been coping with.The memory unit sounds ideal and having checked it out you seem very happy with it, it is a good thing that you have to wait for a room as it gives you time to come to terms with the pending separation.Its a brave decision that took a lot of heartsearching for you.
Thinking of you

Susannah said...

My heart goes out to you, Lantane. The future will be so unsteady and you will probably "second-guess" yourself a hundred times. But you have come this far with God's hand on your shoulder. Remember the story about the footprints in the sand and he carried you? It is happening now. Let the Lord carry you and Elbert.

In my prayers, Susannah

W. Latane Barton said...

OH, my dear friends, how comforting your sweet words are. Thanks to each of you.