I'm having a little bit of trouble of late. Trying so hard to take care of everything, mostly by myself. Bills to pay, pills to take, floors to sweep and beds to make. It's hard when you are all alone to think about why you have to do things for people, living out a life in solitude yet connected to others outside these walls.
Who cares if the floors are dusty and I sometimes do not make my bed. I might want to crawl back into it. My toes get cold and I shiver so the quilts I have made cover me to make me warm. Elbert was always like a heater and I could snuggle close to feel his love and his warmth but he isn't here to keep me warm. He's nice and toasty where he lives these days. Why, I ask myself. Why try so hard to do so much. It all seems useless and then I know the answer.
Generations before me are gone but generations are coming behind me. The children, the grandchildren and the great-grands. I must struggle on to set an example for them, to show them that love is abiding even though Elbert and I are apart. That we are going to celebrate 59 years of a wonderful marriage this coming Thursday.
Has it been 59 years, Lord? It seems like yesterday that we eloped. In todays world this younger generation needs to know that 'through sickness and in health' means just that. Now, Elbert and I are aging and the years are adding up but I must get busy..... pay my bills, take my pills, sweep my floors and even make my bed. The younger generation is watching.