Oh, brave little me!! How sweet to find my husband holding hands with another woman. He was comforting her, I told myself. That really did not bother me during my visit on Saturday or later on that day.
But, come Sunday morning the picture in my mind changed, my forgiving and understanding heart put up a wall and the tears began to flow. It hurts. Yes, it does hurt to see your husband holding hands with someone else. Sandra Day O'Connor may say she's fine with her dementia laden husband finding a new girlfriend. But, I bet at night it gnaws at her insides and she feels lonely and abandoned. And, that is how I am feeling as I start a new week by myself.
Feeling by myself is a tough situation to be in. I've never been by myself in my life. As I grew up, Mom and I lived in the household with my grandparents and a maiden aunt. I was surrounded by love. Then I met Elbert and we married (it was just before my 17th birthday) and he moved me to California where he was stationed in the Navy. But, I now had the companionship and love of my sweet partner. Children followed in quick succession so my life was busy, filled with the ups and downs of raising a family.
Then came Elbert's retirement (and the adjustment of having him home 24/7) We did our own thing but also had some amazing trips and times with our family who was now scattered over the east coast. No, I wasn't alone ever. And, now, the house creaks and sighs with moans of loneliness. I fill my days with hobbies long neglected and wonder about Elbert as he makes new friends in a new place in his life that doesn't seem to include me.