On June 30 (2008) I made an entry in my journal stating 'What a Weekend'. It was a very disturbing weekend and it did not stop there. Elbert was so unsteady all weekend so we used the wheelchair. I was so tired from pushing him around in that heavy thing. He has enough mind to know that it is a burden on me and that he is losing his ability to do things for himself. That has to be very distressing for him. I know it is for me.
On Saturday night (the 28th) he wandered around the house until one a.m. Then Sunday night it was three when he finally settled down. As tired as I was I still had to grin. He was like a little boy, 'I need a drink of water'..... 'I need to brush my teeth'.... or 'I was looking for you'. A little boy isn't going to get up in the middle of the night to brush their teeth but it just reminded me of our children when they were small. By 3 I was so exasperated and thinking 'will he never settle down and sleep' but he finally did. I fell into bed exhausted.
On July 2nd he had another bad day, nearly falling several times. I wonder if this is a phase or is he permanently declining this much. He's in the wheelchair most of the time and he knows he's a lot of trouble for himself and for me. I am not sure how much farther he will decline before I can't manage him anymore. It's hard, It's very tiring and very upsetting. By the end of that day I was feeling pretty lost.
July 4th (2008) A holiday. Not so for this household. After Elbert was up so much the night of the 3rd I gave him a tylenol p.m. He slept a long time and I got some relief. I know, the doctor says that tylenol p.m. will counteract the Alz. meds he is on but a gals gotta do what a gals gotta do sometimes.
After supper we went into the living room to watch tv and after a bit he jumped up and headed down the hallway, me in hot pursuit. Now, you gotta remember I am no spring chicken and I don't get around like I used to. And, that man is fast!! He made it midway down the hall and started falling. I tried as hard as I could to hold him up. I thought if I pressed his body against the wall with mine I might could keep him up but I couldn't. His legs just collapsed under him and he hit the floor. Again John (son in law) to the rescue. Elbert had a gash over his eye so Shirley bandaged it and we got him into the wheelchair.
The falling continued for some months. ..... But, there was a solution in sight. I just didn't have it yet.
3 comments:
I await the solution because I could not imagine either you or Elbert could have continued under those circumstances.
Dear Latane
You never cease to amaze me. I have days where all I want to do is give up - I have had enough, but I don't. I know whatthe alternative is to my being the caregiver, and for the time being and until I am unable I will remain just that. Mom is getting worse on a daily basis. All she really wants to do is sleep. She doesn't have much of an appetite and for my mom that is a big deal. I always said that if Mom or the dog ever stopped eating, I knew there was a problem. By dinner time I am so exhausted and at my wit's end.
It is getting a little better though. I have outside help now a couple of times a week so I am able to go out and have some alone time. I never realized how important that time was until recently. The first time I had time to myself I didn't know what to do LOL. I ended up coming home early ! How silly is that? Now I take my time doing whatever, even if it just walking around the mall. Take care of yourself
Hugs,
Nancy
You are a great lady. God is watching over you. I'm not sure I could be as strong as you.... but...we do what we have to do. I admire you so much.
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