It's August (2006) and I know the summer has been a long one and I know that things change with Alzheimers. Nothing stays the same but this is a new thing around here. I am talking on the phone when I look up and there is Elbert in his jammies, shoes in his hand and a shirt draped across his arm. I asked him what he was doing and his reply was 'I thought I'd go on home'. Here is a man who has been in bed for over half an hour, in a bed that he has slept in for over seven years, and he's gotten up so he can go home? That's a new one and I sense that we are in trouble.
The problem continues and it still does today (2009). He does not remember that we have ever lived here. One night he told me he'd just go home and eat supper, so when he changed his clothes after his shower he came to the living room door and waved goodbye to me.
The only room in the house that he seems comfortable in is the sunroom. He still has some interest in watching cars go by and people walking up and down the sidewalk. So, that holds his attention for a span of time.It looks like to me that he would remember being in this house, buying it, moving here but those memories are all gone. And, so much more is gone. I feel now that I am Elberts thinking process about 90% of the time. He just doesn't seem to know how to do hardly anything. I am helping him change his clothes, remind him to shower and even sometime hop in there with him to be sure he does a good job. He would never eat if I didn't fix something. He doesn't know where to go, what to do. I am thinking and doing for two now. The Elbert I know has disappearing from me. The road that we are on will be long and lonely and I have known that for years now, but it's just becoming so much a part of our every day way of life.
We still enjoy an occasional outing and being with family. It's hard on the grandchildren seeing their beloved Papa no longer here but they try and I am grateful for that. It's hard on us all. That man was the light of our lives and we realize that the light has gone out.