Sunday, February 1, 2009

A New Problem - August 2006

It's August (2006) and I know the summer has been a long one and I know that things change with Alzheimers. Nothing stays the same but this is a new thing around here. I am talking on the phone when I look up and there is Elbert in his jammies, shoes in his hand and a shirt draped across his arm. I asked him what he was doing and his reply was 'I thought I'd go on home'. Here is a man who has been in bed for over half an hour, in a bed that he has slept in for over seven years, and he's gotten up so he can go home? That's a new one and I sense that we are in trouble.

The problem continues and it still does today (2009). He does not remember that we have ever lived here. One night he told me he'd just go home and eat supper, so when he changed his clothes after his shower he came to the living room door and waved goodbye to me.

The only room in the house that he seems comfortable in is the sunroom. He still has some interest in watching cars go by and people walking up and down the sidewalk. So, that holds his attention for a span of time.It looks like to me that he would remember being in this house, buying it, moving here but those memories are all gone. And, so much more is gone. I feel now that I am Elberts thinking process about 90% of the time. He just doesn't seem to know how to do hardly anything. I am helping him change his clothes, remind him to shower and even sometime hop in there with him to be sure he does a good job. He would never eat if I didn't fix something. He doesn't know where to go, what to do. I am thinking and doing for two now. The Elbert I know has disappearing from me. The road that we are on will be long and lonely and I have known that for years now, but it's just becoming so much a part of our every day way of life.

We still enjoy an occasional outing and being with family. It's hard on the grandchildren seeing their beloved Papa no longer here but they try and I am grateful for that. It's hard on us all. That man was the light of our lives and we realize that the light has gone out.


Peggy said...

Hi latane, I can see all of these signs in my friend as she progresses in the the evening draws in she wants to go home as her parents (who have been dead for years), will be worried about her being out late.
God bless

serendopeity said...

I so hear you on all of this. I hear the same from mom and dad usually on a daily basis. hey have only been here for a little over a year but it is still "time to go home" most nights. Especiallly if dad has fallen asleep watching TV. His is very disassociated upon waking and rushes to get his coat on. I have to remind him that he lives here now and then is is ok with it. I make them a cup of tea and off they go to bed. The next morning he is up early waiting for me when I come downstairs and his breakfast. Mom would rather sleep the day away. Luckily she still sleeps at night. I am up most nights till 4:30 - 5:00 listening to make sure they are not wandering, before I finally cannot stay awake any longer.