Tuesday, January 20, 2009


I've been attending the Alzheimers support group and it's been very helpful. At one of the meeting Susan, the director, asked me if I would like to take part in the Memory Walk. I've never been in a Walk before. Besides she wanted Elbert to be the Honorary Chairperson. That was an honor and I sure couldn't just sit back and do nothing. Besides, I really feel like I need to connect with other caregivers, to lean on them and have them lean on me, to do my part to help out. But, I have no idea what is expected of me. I've never raised funds before. And, I am no good at asking people for favors (or money). Don't know how that is going to work out but I will try.

At this time there's a part of me that feels overwhelmed. The partner who was to help me through these 'golden' years has checked out on me. I feel a sense of resentment. How dare he do this to us? There is so much I want to do and can not and then there is what I HAVE to do. My priorities get scrambled and I lose my way. And, then I find myself again and shout hooray!! only to lose myself again in a couple of days or so.

Perhaps if I focus on this Memory Walk I will be doing something to help Elbert and I will earn for myself a sense of being, of some worth. Just maybe. But, first I gotta figure out how to go up to people and ask them for donations. Come on Confidence.... Quit hiding.... I need to succeed. I need to find me again.

1 comment:

The Tile Lady said...

People need to know that you feel resentment that you can't really help at times like this...and that that is normal. They need to know that everyone goes through these feelings. Really good post.